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NXT: A Train Wreck in the Middle of a Tornado Level of Bad
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NXT: A Train Wreck in the Middle of a Tornado Level of Bad

Reviews by Dave

By David E Houston II

Show air date: October 4, 2022

Wow. I’m not 10 minutes into this episode of NXT, and I’m already at “Wow”. This kind of parody of pro wrestling is so much more fun when run by David McLaine. I knew a tragedy was in store as soon as I saw Byron Saxton filling in on commentary.

State of the Tag Team Division

Tag champs Pretty Deadly–Kit Wilson and Elton Prince–come out, having found some of William Regal’s old costumes in the back, and give some State of the Tag Division address. Fast Forward (FF). The Brawling Brutes–Butch and Ridge Holland–decide to slum it from SmackDown and there’s some talking and then a scuffle. Yawn.

Then, because this a completely amateurish show, Carmelo Hayes (with Trickin Fetchit) comes out for his upcoming match with newcomer Oro Mensah while the Brutes are still in the ring and they do some jawing at each other. I guess Pretty Deadly just left. Come back from commercial and we get a classically bad segment in the World’s Most Dangerous Parking Lot as Alba Fyre ambushes The Nice Looking Peop–sorry–Toxic Attraction, whacking Gigi Dolin and Jacy Jayne with her bat and commandeering their Uber, apparently kidnapping Women’s champ Mandy Rose, who we never actually saw. You will never see worse selling of a bat attack.

Carmelo Hayes defeated Oro Mensah

Then we get Hayes vs Mensah. Solid match. Mensah was allowed to look good but not too good as Hayes needed the bounce-back win. Hayes decides to join commentary to watch the next match, a qualifier for the North American title ladder match at Halloween Havoc between Andre Chase and Von Wagner.

Before that, we get a recap of Damon Kemp beating the hell out of Brutus Creed with a folding chair last week. I guess he didn’t get to see the trainer for a week since the clip said “Earlier today”. Duke Hudson shows up and ends up in a match with Julius Creed. All of this was bad and booked a match no one cares about.

Von Wagner defeated Andre Chase

North American Title Qualifying Match

Chase vs Wagner? My fandom of Chase is the only reason I watched this. I should have gone with my first thought. Chase seemed to be working in second gear to not be too fast or do too much for Wagner. Some silliness with Robert Stone and Chase’s students. Wagner won. Shit. There was a good moment when Wes Lee came out of the crowd and attacked Hayes at commentary. That was good.

Veer???

Wendy Choo defeated Lash Legend

Lash Legend–another Hollywood Shuffle Black character on this show–came out to settle her issues with Wendy Choo. Folk. Choo sold being hit in the back with a pillow like Toxic Attraction sold those baseball bat strikes. TF is wrong with this show?? I’ve been saying Legend has been showing improvement lately in the ring. This match was a regression. Just bad.

Zoey Stark and Nikkita Lyons defeated Toxic Attraction

Jayne and Dolin lost to Zoey Stark and Nikkita Lyons to determine the number one contenders to the Women’s tag titles, held by Katana Chance and Kayden Carter (who watched on a monitor in the back, over their shoulders because you’re not allowed to look directly at TVs in WWE). Another solid bout with some sketchy spots. Lyons should stop doing spin kicks. She misses so badly it looks bad for her opponents to bump for them and I’m afraid she’s trying to overcompensate and be too close and hurt someone.

Ilja Dragunov gave us a rundown of his last year in a video package.

I like Cora Jade and Roxanne Perez and this feud. But they had a segment with Grayson Waller. I don’t watch Miz segments, and I don’t watch Great Value Miz segments. I did see Apollo Crews pull Waller under the ring. Why? He can’t beat him up in front of cameras???

Xyon Quinn defeated Hank Walker

Security guy Hank got another match, this time with Xyon Quinn. So he has no gear??? Does he train in his jeans? I hate this. Quinn got to win a match and they found a way to get Quincy Elliot on TV. The Brutes, Brooks Jensen and Josh Briggs, and Malik Blade and Edris Enofé all have a segment in the back. I can’t think of a worse men’s tag division. I see they still want that “Banger after banger!!” thing to get over. You need the first banger, boys, not a series of “that was fine”.

Main Event: Pretty Deadly defeated The Brawling Brutes

For the NXT Tag Team Championships

The Brutes faced Pretty Deadly for the tag titles. I realized I ran out of shits to give and deleted my DVR. Honestly. Sincerely. What TF was this 💩??

The Real Uncle Dave grade: D

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Reviews by Dave is the best wrestling review on the internet! It’s written by David Houston II, who writes about WWE NXT, AEW Dynamite, and IMPACT Wrestling.

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